You say, "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean." Why must you bring your anal retentiveness into the workplace, like fiber compulsively ingested by a constipated and neglected infant? You are like Nancy Regan in the war on drugs. You are like cyanide injected into the veins of an already euthanized bunny rabbit.

You are unnecessarily irksome. Please get out of my shift and stop sucking the cock of the Starbucks Corporation with your puckered lips flushed pink with unfailing corporate alliance and injected with the silicon of your cumbersome work ethic.

Disrespectively,

Jane Torpedo