2002-09-28 : 6:31 p.m.
Ode to Scratch the Wunderhampster and Book Learnin
You remind me of my brain when I am feeling intelligent, only more cute and cuddly. I can tell by the way you move your pine shavings hither and tither about the cage that you want me to contemplate white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. As you rearrange the pine shavings, I rearrange ideas in my head. As you drink from your water bottle, I drink from the fountain of knowledge fortified with critical thinking skills. I hear you squeak and chatter; I know you are chanting "postmodern" in rodentspeak. I love you, Scratch the Wunderhampster. I love you as a scholar loves book learnin.

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