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As some of you may know, I went to auditions for MTV's "The Real World" and "Road Rules" yesterday. I waited in line for 3 HOURS to talk to the MTV people. In the process I started reading "The Handmaid's Tale" and listened to many overly heterosexualized sorority girls discuss cutting their hair, vacationing in the French Riverera, and overloading their livers with alcoholic beverages (maybe some of these trust fund babies have a second liver installed so as to not damper their lifestyle?). I think I should have talked in a British accent once I got in there. Everybody listens to people with British accents. Here is my advice for auditioning for the Real World: Do not begin reading feminist literature beforehand; it will lead you down the firey path of contemplating cultural studies and the nasty influence of the media sexualizing girls at a very young age. Your normal desire to say interesting, funny, outrageous things while whoring yourself to a media outlet on national tv will be overridden by a surly sense of disgust that compels you be sarcastic and ask some boring frat dude next to you if he has a death wish in the middle of the audition. Also, you will forget to speak in a British accent, which would have otherwise given you a boost among the competition.
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